Monday 24 October 2016

Responding to feedback

It was 11 o'clock when granny pulled up. Simon jumped out of the car. I could tell it was him because I heard his voice.  As I ran to meet Simeon,  I was thinking about what we would do while he was at my house.
We went straight to the swing. We chuckled away while we were on the swing and talked about what we would do. I could feel the wind blowing on my face.  


Simeon and I decided we should go to the skate park so we could practice our hops and flips. We headed off straight away to the skate park. Vinessa and I went to the skate park while Emily and Simeon went into the shop next to the skate park. We  played at the skatepark. Simeon and Emily joined us and Simeon and I did a backflip on the scooter.


After the skate park we went to the haunted house. We walked into the toilets, we were scared because it was like a horror movie. Then we went to the mine shaft. The shaft was very interesting and very cool. We saw the showers the miners  used back in the day.


After the mine shaft  we  climbed a mountain and when we reached the top we had to climb the tower on the hill where we saw the mines they looked like a ghost tunnels.  After the mountain climbing  we headed to the domain and chased sheep.
We went to the creek and walked through it, the water was FREEZING. Then we went home and put the blankets out into the sleep out.


In the sleep out we watched lots of movies before we fell asleep.  When we woke the next morning we ate cheese toasties and pikelets before we went outside on the swing. After we had our swing we went to the shop to buy some lollies.


The next night  I stayed at Simeon's house. We went up bush and built a hut before  we went  back and dozed off to sleep.  The next morning we went to the  dairy, bought gobstoppers and walked back to Simon's house. Back at the house we played on the xbox. There was enough time for me to have a turn before it was time to go home.   I was feeling really sad but when Mum pulled up about at  4.50pm  I had  to go home.  l know that this was the best day ever.
 
Thanks for reading.

Friday 14 October 2016

The Perfect Day

I am learning to make my writing more interesting for the reader. I know I will be able to do this when I add more detail, interesting words and include what I see, hear, smell and feel.




It was 11 o clock when granny pulled up. Simon jumped out of the car. I could tell it was him because I heard his voice. As I ran to Simeon I was thinking about what we would do while he was at my house. We went straight to the swing.

We chuckled away while we were on the swing. Simeon and I decided we should go to the skate park. We headed off straight away to the skate park. On the way we went to a haunted house. We were scared but we walked into the toilets, it was like a horror movie.Then we went to the mine shaft. It was very interesting and very cool. We saw the showers the miners used back in the day.

We  climbed a mountain and when we reached the top we had to climb the tower on the hill. That was really fun. After the mountain climbing we headed to the domain and chased sheep. We got back and put the blankets out into the sleep out.
Emily and Simeon went into the shop while Vinessa and I went to the skate park next to it. We played at the skatepark. Simeon and Emily joined us and Simeon and I did a backflip on the scooter. We went to the creek and walked through it, the water was FREEZING, but we manage it before we went back home.

In the sleep out we watched lots of movies before we fell asleep. When we woke the next morning we ate cheese toasties and pikelets before we went on the swing. After we had our swing we went to the shop to buy some lollies.

The next night  I stayed at Simeon's house. We went up bush and built a hut before  we went back and dozed off to sleep. The next morning we went to the  dairy, bought gobstoppers and walked back to Simeon’s house. Back at the house we played on the xbox. There was enough time for me to have a turn before it was time to go home. I was feeling really sad but when Mum pulled up about at  4.50pm l had  to go home. l know that this was the best day ever.

  
Thanks for reading.

Dice in the corner

the lorax seqel

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