It was 11 o clock when granny pulled up. Simon jumped out of the car. I could tell it was him because I heard his voice. As I ran to Simeon I was thinking about what we would do while he was at my house. We went straight to the swing.
We chuckled away while we were on the swing. Simeon and I decided we should go to the skate park. We headed off straight away to the skate park. On the way we went to a haunted house. We were scared but we walked into the toilets, it was like a horror movie.Then we went to the mine shaft. It was very interesting and very cool. We saw the showers the miners used back in the day.
We climbed a mountain and when we reached the top we had to climb the tower on the hill. That was really fun. After the mountain climbing we headed to the domain and chased sheep. We got back and put the blankets out into the sleep out.
Emily and Simeon went into the shop while Vinessa and I went to the skate park next to it. We played at the skatepark. Simeon and Emily joined us and Simeon and I did a backflip on the scooter. We went to the creek and walked through it, the water was FREEZING, but we manage it before we went back home.
In the sleep out we watched lots of movies before we fell asleep. When we woke the next morning we ate cheese toasties and pikelets before we went on the swing. After we had our swing we went to the shop to buy some lollies.
The next night I stayed at Simeon's house. We went up bush and built a hut before we went back and dozed off to sleep. The next morning we went to the dairy, bought gobstoppers and walked back to Simeon’s house. Back at the house we played on the xbox. There was enough time for me to have a turn before it was time to go home. I was feeling really sad but when Mum pulled up about at 4.50pm l had to go home. l know that this was the best day ever.
Thanks for reading.
You are starting to select words to create a picture in the readers' mind. I especially like your sentence - we chuckled away while we were on the swing. I would like to know about the things you could see, hear and feel while you were climbing a mountain. Also what were you thinking when you got to the top?
ReplyDeleteHello James. I like the way that you have shown your work and the way you put it in order.But I also like the way that you describe where you wore at what day and what time.The next step would be to say what you did when you went places.I would also like if you could give a bit more detail.
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